another ditch in the road...you keep moving.

I have been overweight since I was around 2nd or 3rd grade so I guess 7ish. I totally became an emotional eater. Both my parents are drug addicts/alcoholics and I grew up in a house with domestic violence almost every night. When it got bad enough, mom and I would leave and have a second dinner at a fast food restaurant and then go ot my grandma's and make cookie dough or cake or eat little debbies. As I got older, mom would take off and leave me with grandma for days at a time and I always thought she had killed herself or something.....no one in my family eats healthy or works out. All the women have had gastric bypass except for me. When I was in 8th grade my mom decided she couldn't live with my dad and stayed with a friend that I couldn't be around for things many reasons....many of which I haven't dealt with. So I stayed with my dad who then started taking things out on me...at which time my drug addict/alcoholic older brother moved ina nd would bring friends over and get high and do things that weren't right to me. Needless to say, we would only eat fast food or crap food I could keep in my room that wouldn't spoil. Towards the last few months of my sophomore year I stopped eating. I was done...and no one noticed. Not one family member talked to me about it. When I met the marine I married at 16 I wasn't eating at all. We got married to get me out of that situation and I immediately ballooned up again because I started eating and hadn't dealt with emotional issues. After Azali was born I said enough was enough. I still struggle with emotional eating and a lot of anger issues towards my family that have NOT been dealt with. Which is probably why I still yo yo. This is a blog topic I'd like to explore more but I keep stopping myself. There's a song I found recently that basically sums up how I feel about my childhood...I couldn't imagine a song more accurate about my life.....it is like I wrote it. I will continue exploring this topic...I think it will help me tackle some of the emotional eating issues I've been having This is a song by Savage Garden http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0wexLhWwSQ Songwriters: JONES, DANIEL/HAYES, DARREN STANLEY And she takes another step Slowly she opens the door Check that he is sleeping Pick up all the broken glass And furniture on the floor Been up half the night screaming Now it's time to get away Pack up the kids in the car Another bruise to try and hide Another alibi to write Another ditch in the road You keep moving Another stop sign You keep moving on And the years go by so fast Wonder how I ever made it through And there are children to think of Baby's asleep in the back seat Wonder how they'll ever make it Through this living nightmare But the mind is an amazing thing Full of candy dreams and new toys And another cheap hotel Two beds and a coffee machine But there are groceries to buy And she knows she'll have to go home Another ditch in the road You keep moving Another stop sign You keep moving on And the years go by so fast Wonder how I ever made it through Another bruise to try and hide Another alibi to write Another lonely highway in the black of night But there is hope in the darkness You know you´re going to make it Another ditch in the road You keep moving Another stop sign You keep moving on And the years go by so fast Silent fortress built to last Wonder how I ever made it

Charity Announced for Long Beach Marathon!!!!

I'll be running for Grateful Hearts to provide to those in need!

Pounding the trail

So much can be said about today.....it was a very successful day overall and I'd have to say that I am HAPPY.

Let's start with food shall we??? Tonight was a Whine n Wine event at my friends which meant.....rice krispy treats, brownies, chocolate dipped strawberries, wine, chips, muffins and all things yummy...and non-vegan. Well, I am VERY pleased with how I did! Here we go....this is what ended up in my belly today!


 The usual breakfast!

My early lunch

 My after lunch, before workout salad

my amazing vegan food!!!!!!!! jalapeno cheddar burger (veg) and "chicken" salad!

I had 3 organic choc strawberries, a single bite of brownies and a glass of wine!

The workout:
This encouraged my decision to go explore a new trial today. It was a long drive but it is a 21 mile long trail that is safe for people to run alone (for the most part) so I felt the need to try it out to get some road miles in and also to explore where I will be doing most of my marathon training. So...with twentysixpointfreakingtwo pounding through my head and my new run for Boston bondi band, I was off!

The New Balance Minimus Zero Road shoes came today...didn't like them!!!!!!! The side of the shoe doesn't really fit like a glove....sigh. So these will be going back....so far the Merrell Arc 2, NB Minimus and Saucony A5s were a no go.

 So I ran the trail with my merrell barefoot pace gloves which I do happen to LOVE but....they cause blisters on the back of my heal because they have a gathered back..not your typical running shoe. If I wore socks with them it wouldn't be a problem but I want the true minimalist feeling so I don't wear socks (and yes, my shoes AND feet smell awful...but I'm ok with that). Today I had slight irritation on my left heel but the 4 miles I ran on the trail didn't do much damage.

I have five other shoes to try:
Merrell Barefoot Road Run Glove
Altra Zero Drop Delilah or Altra ONE
Vivobarefoot 1
MIzuno Wave
Under Armour Toxic Six

I have a pair of Merrell Barefoot Road Run Glove that is being sent to me because I sent back my arc 2s. I am also considering the Barefoot Run Pace Glove 2s if I don't like the ROad Run Gloves....mainly because I really do love my dash gloves if it wasn't for the damn back!

I've also been considering trying the Vibram Five Fingers Spyder, Bikilia or Seeyas but haven't seen any in my size on line so I may try REI during one of the days I go run on the trail.

I also used my new phone, the Droid DNA today. My Droid Nexus kept dying....let me tell you..I love the DNA!!! I had runkeeper, charity miles, and my fit radio running for almost an hour and it barely seemed to drain the battery. Hooray for a phone that I Can run with all my apps going!

I listened to Dubstep today....pretty good! I also ran with my Bondi Band armband which didn't slip and I'd recommend to anyone who does outdoor runs that doesn't like the traditional armbands that have elastic and Velcro (I've ruined a few shirts from the consistant running). It is big enough to fit my big phone, my car key (one of the big digital ones), pepper spray, and probably a license or something. I ran with a sparkletts bottle and it didn't bug me as much as I thought it would! Another hooray moment.

The most exciting part of the run came around 2 miles in....I passed a building that said "Viva La Vegan"...Oh my goodness!!!!!! A grocery store with ALL vegan items! I nearly died with joy...and yes, that is where my burger and salad came from in the pics above. I will be returning Saturday for some yummies.They have EVERYTHING. So the town that I ran in has the 21 mile Pacific Electric trail, farmers, farmer markets, a vegan store, a sprouts, the gym...umm yeah, I'm in love and I"ve decided that some day I will move here! Somehow someway...someday!

Here's me after my 4 mile trail run! I used Charity Miles today and donated to ASPCA. I feel the urge to help animals right now. I burned 634 calories according to my Polar HRM FT40...runkeeper said I burned 561 or something like that. Pretty darn tootin close I'd say. I'm already sore! Dun dun dun!!!!!

But yay me, I did it!

 

 Tomorrow I tackle another fear- first session with my PT at the Cobra Kai Gym. Oh! My pt plus his fiancé and another pt are hosting a bootcamp from May 22-July 3 (my birthday) at the gym. THey will have teams of 5 people and will be competing against each other. 4 days per week we will meet to train and have weekly weigh ins and food log review.....it is $75 for 6 weeks, 4 days a week compared to $100 for 4 sessions with my pt. I'm considering doing it. The only problem being that I would have to miss Mondays unless I can find a sitter to watch Azali while I'm at the gym. ANd it would mean changing the days that she spends at my gmas/aunts for school. It ends in time for her summer school so she'll be home with me...overall, I think I'm going to do it! Any thoughts would be appreciated! Pt would fit into my momma schedule better but the thought of this transformational bootcamp has me uber excited and pumped!





No matter where we live, what we do, how fast we are, what our dreams are, what we are running from, or where our miles lead - we are a running family. We mark miles, we ache, we try, we fail, we triumph and we endure. -Kristin Armstrong, Today, Mile Markers blog, Runner's World.com

Keeping my Word....

Neck: 13

Right arm: 14.5

Left arm: 14.5

Waist: 37.5

Hip: 46.5

left thigh: 26.5

right thight 25.5

left calf 16.5

right calf 17.5

bust over nipple 41

chest under breast 37.5

 

 

 

I really don't want to post these pics but...I will keep my word!!!! Plus, I'll be doing them every month....I'm going to learn to love my body and I want to see the changes.....so there we have it!

Tackling the fears one by one.

Woo woo...rocked another day!

Food for the day:

The usual breakfast: coffee with soy creamer, water, and a rockin wellness shake. Banana for a snack

 My dad was trying to be nice (he's been staying with me because of his health and some issues with his house).....I took off the egg and as much of the melted cheese as I could to make this a veggie sandwich.

 My snack on the way to the gym! Apple and green bar

 Dinner (that is vegan "chicken")- the miso soup I only had 1/4 of

 My parents were here (again because of their house) this is literally the only piece of lemon merange I had!! Like 2 bites! lol

My workout for the day consisted of a 45 minute run and a 30 minute swim....what did I realize? I tuckered out of the run 5 minutes earlier than I wanted to so I was somewhat disappointed with myself but my HR was up to 174 and I needed to take a breather. I ended up hill walking the last 5 minutes. The swim was a NSV for sure. FIrst of all, I did NOT want to wear my bathing suit in front of anyone and I was terrified to swim at the gym where everyone in the sauna could see me. But with the support of Diane and Mandie, I did it. I am an awful swimmer and it became pretty clear that I will need to take a few classes with a swimming coach in order to know what the hell I'm doing and be able to swim in the tri. I have decided to do a lake sprint tri first...I feel safer in lake water than ocean water. But I did it...yay me! I also spent about 20 minutes in the sweat room (10 minutes after run and 10 minutes after swim). Lovely!
I've decided that the Saucony A5s will be sent back to zappos. They are so darn cute and light...but the elastic that holds the tongue is screwed up on the left foot and I really think that if I run barefoot with them it will rub my foot raw. I really want minimalists that will be wearable without socks (it makes me feel more natural)...so the hunt continues. I only have 38 days until my half marathon.

OOOOH! On that news front....I found out today that the half marathon course is a RUN ONLY course! Yup...if you stop and walk they will pull you (unless you are at the water table or bathrooms). Also, you have to have a 13 mile pace. It starts in the mountains at a campsite and goes alllllll the way down to the next city at the city hall. I didn't realize I had to run the whole thing. I admit, I'm nervous about this. There is some elevation drops during the first 6 miles so that will help but I'm really scared about being able to do this. I only have 2 long runs until the race....and today was SOOO hard hitting 45 minutes running. I found that running outside seems to be easier for me.....we'll see how my next trail run goes. I think I'm going to do trail running tomorrow. I may try the new trail and make that my NSV for the day. There's a trail called the Pacific Electric. TOmorrow is wine night at my friends so I figured a run would be a good workout....I REALLY don't want to miss spin class but....it seems silly to drive out of my way to go to that gym when the running trial is by my friends. So I think I'll tackle my fear of finding this new trail (I've never been there so I'll have to find out where ot park) and running alone. I'm going to use my new phone along with runkeeper and charity miles to track it. Tomorrow isn't my long run but we'll see what happens. I have a 10 miler planned for Saturday.

So a few things that I'm becoming more aware of:

1. I'm scared about my personal training session on Friday
2. I need to get a road bike to train outside one day a week
3. I need to believe in my ability to push through a high heart rate, aching legs and no breath in order to finish my half
4. I need to find a swim coach and take a few lessons...and NOT give up on swimming even if it's just what I was doing today because it will build up muscles
5. I want to find a triathlon training group...but I'm really nervous about it because of my size and inexperience.
6. Finding minimalist shoes is a pain in the ass.
7. Oh and that I am awesome ;)

And my thought for the day is summed up with the following pictures. Mainly, I'm kind of irritated with my family for being so unsupportive in my decisions ot become and athlete and for how I want to raise my daughter.

Mission Accomplished

My delicioso food for the day consisted off:

Breakfast: organic coffee, so delicious creamer, 1 teaspoon coconut sugar

32 ounces of water

8 ounces almond milk with 1 scoop of rockin wellness

 tasty banana snack

lunch was a veg burger on a single piece of wheat bread with organic ketchup, mustard, red onion, mushroom, spinach, tomato and a slice of vegetable cheese. Oh yeah, and more water!

Afternoon snack of cob corn with lemon pepper and vegan butter

 After gym dinner: tofu cubes, 2 eggs (last eggs from the local farm that needed to be used for me to do this vegan thing), spinach, mushroom, red onion and salsa

 last of the corn with lemon pepper and vegan butter

 55 calorie fruit tube

My kickass workout of the day:
1 hour spin class and 1 hour of strength class. Whew, talk about sweaty! I was immediately sore in the strength class. I upped my weights to 8s and 10s.....yikes bikes. Lots of arms, triceps, shoulders, legs and core. If I'm not sore tomorrow I'll be REALLY surprised!

NSV for the day:
I said NO to pizza despite my dad asking me to pick it up at 7:30pm after working out and not eating dinner. It smelled good and I was hungry but I resisted!

I met a very nice older black gentleman at the gym this evening. His name is Joe. He runs and he is 67! Amazing.

I drank around 96 ounces of water today.

I'm not going to lie, I did not want to go to the gym (which is really unusual for me) and the food is a struggle. My parents food is still here because their power is out so I resisted the urge to use their cheese. I'll admit that I did have a teaspoon of mayonnaise on my corn. Overall, a very successful day. Baby steps! I didn't go crazy, didn't cave and have the pizza or the cheese......yay me!

Tomorrow I plan on going to my favorite gym to run on the treadmill and to swim. I'm DREADING swimming. My sprint triathlon is in September so I need to get on that. My dad has decided he will go in half with me to buy a $300 road bike for my birthday..so that is very exciting! I may need some encouragement to hit the swim lane tomorrow.

Fear of the week: my first personal training session at PFN Bootcamp in the Cobra Kai Gym. I'm so nervous. I went to school with the personal trainer and he's BUFF. This is followed closely by my scheduled single swim for the week...wearing a bathing suit and swimming in front of everyone that is in the sauna and sweat room. I do plan on hitting the sweat room after my swim though. I'm going to change things up...run then swim then sauna. I'll start block training next month.

Oh! Fun share of the day, loving the triathlon book that I'm reading. It is called Triathlon for Every Woman by Meredith Atwood. I highly recommend it for anyone wanting to venture into the world of triathlons. She is a plus sized athlete....super funny and encouraging.

Things that I need to think about:
I will need to take some swimming lessons- need to get these priced (3-6 lessons for triathletes)
I am considering joining the U.S. Masters Swim Team by the gym.
I need to find a cycling/triathlon coach.
I'm still on the hunt for some minimalist shoes (I'll write a blog on this soon!).

And with that I say-

Week 2 Marathon Training Workout Schedule

• Monday 4/22/2013 REST
• Tuesday 4/23/2013 1 hour SPIN; 1 hour ST
• Wednesday 4/24/2013 3.1 mile RUN; 30 minute swim
• Thursday 4/25/2013 5 mile TRAIL RUN
• Friday 4/26/2013 1 hour personal training (first session)
• Saturday 4/27/2013 9.5 MILE RUN
• Sunday 4/28/2013 leisurely SWIM and trampoline